What is Sucess?

What is success in the eyes of Christ? Can somebody tell me? I found myself asking that. I am 37 years old and I felt that my life hasn’t been successful. But I would like to think beyond what I see as success, I would like to think that way so I can say to myself: “Miguel, it is ok, you are doing ok!” But then I go back to my reality and my reality tells me, “You haven’t done anything, have you? You are supposed to be a leader but know one is following you, you are supposed to start a church, so where is it, you don’t even have a B.A. Degree, you don’t own a house, you don’t have children. Where is your life heading?” Yes of course if you read this could sound very depressing, but I am not. I am just asking myself many questions because I want to know what I am doing to change the way I feel. I have read many books that have deepened my spirituality. I have learned from many authors that religion goes beyond what we call “church” today. The words of Christ have messed up my life. Is success is in the eyes of Christ to have a big church? Is success in the eyes of Christ to have followers when you are a leader? Is success in the eyes of Christ to have a bachelor degree?...you know, there has to be something more of what we are right now and what we have, and I know that I don’t have to wait to get to heaven to get it. But at the same time I don’t know where to look for it. What if success is to have a life totally wasted, or to have an unsuccessful leadership, or to never own anything? Wait! this is what I read from Christ: “…Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?” Successful equal self-sacrifice. Is my life successful then? My prayer is, “Lord make my life a mess, Lord make me feel uncomfortable, take away everything and I mean everything that won’t lead me to self-sacrifice even if is “church”, and teach me….please I need to be taught.